I worked today, I am a rural carrier for the usps, had a good bit of packages but not a lot of mail. The roads were pretty good, had to put it in 4X4 about half the route. I listen to klove while on the route and heard a woman who had also lost her son telling how she was mad at God for a while but started going to church and gave her life to Jesus. So proud of her. It is a hard struggle! I suffer from overwhelming fear, panic attacks and hyprochondria. Today I had a pretty good day, thanks to my Jesus helping me through. I went to church tonight the pastor had a surprise party for Marsha the youth pastor and her son.
One day I sat on the edge of my bed, just started talking to GOD crying, naming every sin, asking him to forgive me. I felt horrible finally realizing what Jesus did for me and I was living like I didn’t care. Taking his love for me for granted, treating his story like a fairy tale. WAKE UP! God giving his one and only son, is not a fairy tale, it’s a true story of our heavenly Father who loves us so much he wants us to live with him for eternity. The choice is ours. He will not make us love him, praise him, he will not force us to know him. GOD gives us free will. Jesus was born from a virgin, walked this earth to teach of his father’ kingdom, was tempted like we are but never sinned, gave his life for us on a cross and rose 3 days later. Do you believe that? If you do, how can you continue to live in sin, and turn your back on him? I wish someone would have said that to me, but most people think you have to sugarcoat GODS word. I read an article about a week ago about a well known atheist. He said, “How much do you have to hate someone, to believe you can have eternal life and not evangelize with them.” That statement really hit home with me.
Have you ever been in a place where you felt you were all alone, the world was crashing down and there’ nowhere to run and hide? I Have! Hi, my name is Michelle. I am married to a wonderful man, JR. We lost our only son 3 and a half years ago in an accident, he was 16. Life has been very difficult for me since then, fear, worry, anxiety and depression. If you have ever experienced these emotions, you know how debilitating they can be. Immediately after losing (Billy) my son, I was on a mission trying to learn as much as I could about GOD, JESUS and heaven. GOD got me through, then all of a sudden I was mad at him, I still don’t fully understand why, but I was. I didn’t understand why he would take my only child, robbing me of being a parent and grandparent. Why he would take such a good hearted boy when there were so many bad ones. (I’m not saying that I feel one life is above another, I was just mad and confused). I stayed mad for about 2 and a half years. Feeling my life with hatred and sin. Trying not to care about people, shoving my husband away. I was full of bitterness. My beautiful mother kept on me about GODS love for me, I needed to go to church. Finally I did, me and my sister went on a Sunday in December when my mom and stepfather was singing in the choir, every song they sang was about a mother and her baby boy. I started crying and I left. I made it back to church about a year ago, but I still wasn’t in the right frame of mind but I gave it a shot. I was one of those, if I feel like it I will go. I never felt anything, but I was still being pulled. Finally one day I went and it changed for me, I felt something, warmth, love, acceptance. God didn’t give up on me, like my mom she didn’t give up on me, and my wonderful husband didn’t give up on me.
Thanks for joining me! A place to share hurting, trials that we experience through life, and how we can trust in our Heavenly Father to hold our hand and walk with us through every second of everyday.
Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton